What I Really Want To Say
I was thinking yesterday about the things I would say if you asked me to be totally 100% honest with you and I knew with certainty that you would survive it and have your dream business afterward. I went back and forth, “Nope, can’t say those things… actually, I kind of have a responsibility to. Well, not really. Well, yea, kind of…” and I landed here: in front of my laptop with a cup of Trader Joes’s spicy chai in hand - my favorite tea for 15 years - and a hacking cough and a barely-there voice and a bowling ball in the bottom of my stomach. But I’m in if you are. If not - look away, love. Look away.
Here’s what I would tell you that would make you glow from the inside out:
You are totally capable of this thing you’re creating. You were born for it actually. I would place my bets on you.
When I see you doing “your thing” it inspires me more than you’ll ever know. Whether it’s you, Sarah, dyeing your yarn or YOU, Aubrey, hiring and training your team, or you, Jennifer, getting brave with your IG videos. It fills my cup to overflowing every.damn.time I see you putting yourself out there to follow your dream. If I had to distill my passion down to ONE thing it would be witnessing YOU doing your thing.
They are not better than you. Those girls. Those people. The ones who are watching. They are not. They may be better at some THINGS then you, but they are not better than you. Your souls are the same. I promise.
If you get better at this thing by practice and dedication. If you stay passionate and hungry. If you keep going… then there’s a very high likelihood that you will get to wear you’re going.
Here’s what I would tell you that would cause you to argue or defend or not like me as much:
You’re not working hard enough at the right things. In fact, you’re focused on a lot of the wrong stuff and that feeling of burnout that creeps in (or confusion or overwhelm) too often is actually not because you’re “working too hard”. It’s because you’re spinning your wheels in the wrong directions. The right work is hard but it’s also energizing. It feels completely different.
You’re not good enough yet at the thing you’re building. But you already kind of know that. You’re new (ish)! Even if you’re not new ish then you’re new ish at this thing where you are pivoting or scaling or trying something different. And by the way: I’m right there with you! I’m not that great at any of it either. I may be 15 years into certain skills but I’m only 13 months into being a business owner and doing THIS business. That’s like a tiny, maybe-just-crawling baby. I don’t know a lot yet and neither do you.
You’re not hiding the fact that you’re afraid. I can see it. You want to get this right. It’s important to you. It’s maybe more important than most other things and you’re worried if you can’t get it right then that may say something about you that you don’t want to look in the eye.
There are areas of your business (maybe your IG feed, maybe your website or logo or branding in general… maybe your finances or organization or sales strategy… maybe your customer service… maybe the product itself) that are only half-baked and it shows. People are savvy. They see where you’re ignoring things or trying to get past by doing the minimum. They see it with me ALL THE TIME and I see it in myself too. You are not alone in this. Not at all. What’s important is that you call yourself out on where this is true for you and get help in that area.
You can’t do it alone. You’re trying. I see you trying so hard. But it’s not enough. Not because YOU are not enough but because one person cannot do it all. Krista Jordan, who is on my team, just redid my website because I was too “in” it to do it right and I knew it. My efforts were half-baked (see above). I had to stop, drop, and roll. I had to humble myself and ask for help.
I know this business thing is a lot and it’s scary and sometimes you’re just trying things and seeing what works. At the end of the day it is kind of one big experiment, isn’t it? I suppose that’s what makes it so much fun at times. Having said that, I think a little “get real” time is needed for us all. We need to level-set and ask ourselves, “Is my fear leading the show? Am I trying to go it alone? Am I half-baking stuff and THAT is what’s holding me back??? Am I spinning my wheels rather than moving with intention?”
You’re really the only one who can answer those questions honestly. No business coach or creative friend or mentor can truly fix it all and wrap it up with a bow and hand it back to you perfectly profitable. I wish that was possible actually. Sometimes I lay awake at night thinking about how to make that happen for some of my clients and then I eventually acknowledge that they are actually the ones getting in their own way and that I can’t fix things they don’t want to fix.
Here’s the thing though: you can ask for help. Support. A listening ear. Skills you don’t have yet. That stuff IS available to you. As long as you are living in a rockstar place of personal responsibility then you can bring in the troops to lift you up and hold you accountable and hug you when you need it most. YOU CAN. That part is here if you need it.
I see you out there. The late night posts and the quick e-mail questions and the edits on your website and the DM’s in my inbox and the hustling early in the morning… all of it. I see you and I stand with you. I’m so dang proud to be standing with you, in fact. You are a mighty force in this world.
Just make sure you aren’t getting in your own way. I want you to have your dream job. It’s waiting for you and I believe it’s possible.
I love you.