You Are Powerful Beyond Measure.
Since starting my business I’ve received the virtual side-eye from many an otherwise lovely human. I’ve come to take it in stride because I realized quickly that it didn’t have much to do with me. It had a lot to do with THEM. Don Miguel Ruiz taught me that in The Four Agreements, “Never Take Anything Personally.” People’s judgements are a reflection of how they feel about themselves.
It also helps that I have a lifetime of experience being judged. When I was a kid - the oldest of four with a preacher father - I was a born again Christian. People (meaning anyone outside of my belief system) didn’t really get it. Later in life it was because I did things outside of that belief system… like not going to church on Sundays and getting piercings and tattoos and divorcing my husband… and eventually… leaving it all behind to find my own way.
No one has ever described me as “soft” or “quiet” or “calm”. I’ve never heard anyone say I’m “gentle” or “grounded” or “sweet”. I’m more often described as “passionate”, “loyal”, “opinionated”, “dramatic”, and “creative”. In other words, I go at things unapologetically and I have no problem speaking my mind. This can sometimes land with people as off-putting. I’m o.k. with that. I’m not for everyone.
So it wasn’t without any experience that I came to receive virtual side-eye from strangers and friends alike when I became more public about Upspeak. What is virtual side-eye? It’s things like passive aggressive comments on Instagram, unfriending or blocking me, gossiping about me behind the scenes and little bits and pieces of those conversations finding their way back around to me. It’s competitive behavior. It’s just general weirdness.
And here’s the thing: I get it.
When you step out into new things, it makes people uncomfortable but it’s not your job to make people comfortable. It’s your job to live powerfully.
As long as you shrink in the shadows and “play small” you’ll deal with small problems and you won’t upset people much. If you keep your mouth shut and focus on everyone liking you and never rocking the boat, etc. then you will find a lot of peace. If you stand up, speak out, and do so with intention and with consistency… welp… those waves will rock some boats, baby. They just will.
Fear of people thinking you’re a fraud or judging you can keep you small. You’ll find yourself saying things like:
I don’t want to write a newsletter. People will just unsubscribe or put me in their spam folder.
I don’t want to blog. What if it sounds dumb or no one reads it?
A podcast?! Why would anyone want to listen to what I have to say? What if no one downloads it?
Update my website? I don’t know how to do that. I don’t have time. No one cares anyway. Why would I need a website?
Post pictures of myself on instagram?!? I don’t like pictures of myself. What if other people think I’m narcissistic?
Raise my prices? Would people pay that? I don’t deserve that yet. People will think I’m selfish.
And on and on it goes. We start from a place of fear of being judged and we’re frozen there. We can’t move forward. In order to grow we have to shrug off the negative opinions of others and keep walking. We have to step outside of our comfort zones and RISK BEING SEEN. We have to risk being judged. Risk doing it wrong. Risk people laughing. Risk people unfollowing and unsubscribing. I tell my clients, “Those people aren’t your people anyhow.” And it’s true! YOUR people will see you, hear you, love you, and follow along for the ride. Those people will also pay you for your services because you’re worth it! Those are the people you want standing next to you. Not the jealous ones. Not the angry ones. Not the insecure ones who are projecting their fears onto you. They are on their own path and that path is for them. You are on yours and it’s crucial that you stay on it. Don’t get derailed by the tomato throwers.
I want to share with you one of my all-time favorite quotes by Marianne Williamson:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Let me say it again for those in the back: YOU ARE POWERFUL BEYOND MEASURE and you are meant to shine.
Join me for a free 30 Day Challenge to end the year strong. We’re in this business thing together - through thick & thin - & we’re going to hold each other accountable to not shrinking in the shadows.