The YES Feeling
When you were a kid you felt it. Or maybe it was when you were a teenager... or the first time you did something really creative or smart. THAT'S when you felt it. Maybe it was when someone you looked up to told you "You did great!" Maybe it was after you cooked your first delicious meal for people you love or knit that scarf or dared to run that half marathon. You definitely felt it when you said, "I love you". Whatever it was and whenever it was, you felt YES in your bones & you'll never forget the feeling of YES.
Life sweeps us away though, doesn't it?
We do all of the things and most of them are kind of ordinary and tiring and before we know it... poof! Years have gone by and goshdarnit we never did make it back to Egypt for that trip we said we would surely do again before turning 30. And holy shit it's time to have a baby, isn't it? And we should probs meet & marry that perfect partner too at some point... but first there are dishes. First there's work... so much work (ugh). First we need to organize the Tupperware and pin that thing on Pinterest.
Damn. Those 's' words take a lot of time.
So here we are. We have this life we like most of the time and even love some of the time but it was mostly by accident if we're being really honest. We got kind of lucky. We are generally healthy (though maybe a few pounds heavier than we had hoped) and have friends who only drive us nuts a little bit of the time and we have cats! Lots of cuddly cats we take pictures of whenever we can. So yea. Things are pretty good. Good but not really GREAT. Not really INTENTIONAL. Not really that YES feeling we have felt before and loved so crazy much. The YES, I'm alive. YES, I'm happy. YES, I'm ME!
Sometimes we look at Instagram and we see all of the pretty people with their perfectly placed things and their billowy hair and their designer puppies (how does everyone cool ALWAYS have a fresh puppy? Like I don't really get it...) and we think to ourselves, "Maybe THEY have the secret. What do THEY know that I missed?" But we are smart people, so we only think those things for a second or two and then we follow it up with a gentle reminder that no one has it perfect and Instagram is just one slice of a very big pie. We know that's true in our heads. But our hearts feel a twinge of sadness. Maybe even a little jealousy. And then the jealousy makes us feel (horror or all horrors) something very akin to shame. The worst of all feelings, it seems, is shame.
Let's just stop ourselves there and have a little pep talk, shall we? Grab some popcorn. I'll meet you on the couch where the cozy blankets are.
You are far too special and full of potential YES FEELINGS to wallow in that nonsense any longer.
I'm here to tell you the most important thing you'll hear maybe ever and it's this:
Stop looking over there and start doing things right here.
They say "comparison is the thief of joy" and I gotta say: it IS. Be inspired by others... yes, but do not, by any means, allow yourself to get stuck in feeling 'less than' or 'not enough' or 'like a fraud' or any of that other bullshit that is designed to keep you STUCK. Stuck means not moving. Stuck means not growing. Stuck means not experiencing the YES feeling. It's a lot of the NO feeling, actually. Moving out of 'looking over there' and into 'doing things right here' requires you to step up to the plate, roll up your sleeves, and be ready to move. Ready to act. Ready to jump. It will not feel cozy. It will not feel easy. It will not feel FUN all of the time. It may even feel very unfun at times. And that's totally 100% a-okay. As long as you are moving (tiny steps, my dear) then you are doing it. You are making it happen. Jennifer doesn't have it all together. Trust me. (Sorry if your name is Jennifer, but you don't). We are all responsible to ourselves and it is our humbling opportunity in life to make the most of what we are given. Some of us have this, some of us have that, some of us seem to have this AND that... but none of us have it all. Not one of us. We start with what we have. We start right exactly where we are. We start and we don't stop. We go and we grow and we keep on keepin' on and we make something beautiful out of a lot of tiny messes. I'm talking to myself here, first and foremost.
And I'll tell ya another thing (once I get going it's really hard to get me to stop...): It helps sometimes to be around others who are in the same boat as you, so guess what? I've built a boat for us! It's called "Upspeak Cleveland" and it's for YOU! YOU the one who desires to get unstuck and feel a whole lot of YES this year. Here's what you can do:
- You can read my weekly blog posts for support.
- You can follow Upspeak on Facebook and Instagram for encouragement and daily reminders that you are doing it and you are wonderful and we are in this thing together.
- You can listen to my Monday morning podcast for a few laughs and hopefully a little inspiration. Link in menu!
- You can join me at one of my small group workshops! They are in intimate, cool settings around Cleveland with a maximum registration of 10-20 people (ladies only!) and they are only 90 minutes long but packed full of support designed just for you.
I don't like to make lots of promises, but I can promise you this: you are not alone and you should get in this boat. Swimming alone is exhausting. Let's take baby steps forward together.